黑糖群俠傳...finally first episode out le...
wangzi and y tou so cute...tgt...so lang cai nu mao...cute sia...
tmr got ndp training...another boring day...
at least tmr only one period HMT...
haha...
and tmr youtube got fated to love you...
nice...waiting for it...
haha...
and btw...
after that got pi li MIT...
got ai jiu zai yi qi...
waiting for it...
NDP is getting more and more tiring...
but still okay lorhh...
still can tahan...
haha...had a great feast just now...
all my probs are gone...
haha...
and addicted to magazines lately...
play...fans...colour...teens...teenage...even i and u weekly...
fun sia...
and also addicted...shows...
lky always addicted to this two things also...
haha...
louis is so handsome...
and i am so addicted to him...
and boy in house...
they are lky e cutest and funniest ppl around...haha
sianx...
gtg watch shows
♥大東
宅男塾 - 阿宅失眠日記
我的床 抱怨着它的孤单
天快亮 却还是空空荡荡
它陪我熬夜 它替我紧张
安静的看你还在线上
我好像 被画了个烟熏妆
有黑轮 悬挂载我的眼眶
一点都不累 一点都不烦
却从来不敢按下键盘
你不会知道 你的失眠 有我陪伴
从不同方向盯着同一个月亮
突然窗外飘进来 烤面包的香
哪一天 能和你 手牵手吃早餐
你很难想像 你的夜里 从不孤单
有一个阿宅夜夜陪你等太阳
早就为你打听好 哪一扇橱窗
一整晚 都亮着 等我带你去欣赏
书桌上 摆放着我的收藏
那公仔 表情开始不耐烦
它嫌我内向 嫌我不勇气
它怪我只敢要它陪伴
我在想 害你失眠的答案
是害怕 还是因为谁受伤
真心的力量 并没有灭亡
我也想为爱大声嚣张
怎么我被困在三面墙
和一扇打不开的窗
我超想 在你面前勇敢的呐喊
♥大東
finally after one busy week...i get to rest...haha
learning fest was okay...too pity didn't win...
but nvm...haha...
now busy with ndp...
tiring lorhh...this year ndp is much much longer...
cause got fancy drills all that...
but is gonna be much more fun...
joel chin is so funny with his contingent...
haha...LOL
last sat went to go see sheng siong show...
guest is yoga and jade...
haha...yoga so cute...
euu ppl also saw the part where he sing with jade...
the song is legend...
but that day during commercial...
he sang bo le...
cute sia...the last sentence of the chorus last 2 words is suppose to be bo le...
he said bye-bye...
cute sio...
and jade sang yan lei siao le...
nice lorhh...
this week is so fully packed for me...
ndp training almost everyday...
tired sia...other than that very fad up with alot of ppl
we training there so tired already all we need is the quietness
then you ppl lky treat it lky your home...talk so loud...
nvm larhh...some got scolded by ms hamidah...
so no difference...
btw theres this new show...
thats gonna end today...
i think call perfect cut or something...
is about plastic surgery...
nice...thomas ong rocks...
handsome sia...but he close 40 le...
haha...he look lky early 30 to me...
haha...
got news that yoga and the other 3 dudes with yazi with jade...
having concert...during august...in hong kong...
they come i wan go see lorhh...sian...
waiting for new album from fahrenheit and also boy in house(or zai nan shu in chinese)
haha...lousis rocks...
so handsome...
he sing nice...right crys?
haha...going to work hard for subjects...
THANK GOD I PASS E MATHS AND CHEM
happy lky hell...
father promise me to treat me dinner...
to sakura...haha...rock sia...
btw...pls larhh...
at first you say is i ps you than you decide to ps me...
now you say i not free thats why nv call me out...
hahaha...laugh sia...
pls lorhh can you finalize your story...
and btw pls dun anyhow accuse ppl of spamming just beause that person knows chinese
and the only person near me who supports me is esther...
i really dun understand you ppls...
btw...to the spammer...who spam mildred...
i really wanna know who you are...
you can tell me in the tagboard...
or if you dun wan ppl to know can give me a testi or msg in friendster...
or even to my hotmail or add me in msn...
if you dun wan others to know euu...
i confirm nobody will know...
confidential...
confirm,,,
my hotmail:elizapoa@hotmail.com
i hope to clear esther's name...pls...
♥大東
YAY...
i got 5 tickets to this week's sheng shiong show...
mom help me get want...
i going to see yoga...
with my family...but got extra one more ticket...
maybe bringing granny too...
teenage got yoga...cover story...
maybe buying tmr...
haha...
this few days dame tired...
dunno why...
haha...maybe opening a blog shop with jas and xue ying...
after learning knitting...
for NYAA...
tmr got learning fest...dun feel lky going...
dame tired...and got nth for me to do...
haziq look so cute when he playing guitar...
OMG...haha...no other feelings...
i just found out that the malay boys are a whole lot of fun...
rid always giving me the gangster face...
dots larhh he...haha...got nth to write le...blogging tmr...
♥大東
THANK GOD IT CAME...
two things...
my period and TEENS...
haha...i know got boy reading larhh...ridhwan...just dun read this part...unless euu really want...
btw...really haven had it for lky 2 months right...
before sec 3 camp till now...
may to july...3 months sia...
mum told me not to be so stress...
since i have already let the matter go...
i have relaxed...thats why "aunt" came to find me...
second thing is teens...
i always waiting for this time of e month...it rocks...
got giant poster of jam and yoga...
got lollipop interview...yes!
got jade,yoga and jam's interview...
haha...ridhwan is so funny and...lame?
i lky sitting with him...always laughing lky mad wan...
fun sia...but the ghost story was NOT GOOD...
can't sleep tonight le...
haha...
since i let the matter go...and stop thinking bout it...i feel less stressful...
hanging out with jas and esther...
esther is a total lunatic...
but with her there...its always so so funny...
haha...and their friends are nice too...
i got to know them...
i really wanna thank them for acccepting me...
haha...my mom said to let it go...dun think too much...i guess it's true...
btw a few words...
thanks for letting me realise that i was a total jerk...
i am trying to change...
thanks for letting me know the pain...
so that i think before i do...
thanks for letting me go...
so that i get to know that i have many friends around me...supporting me...
thanks for letting me know...
that its not easy to thrust someone...
thanks for letting me know...
that its no use once everything settles...
thanks for being great friends for the past two years...
i will nv forget euu all....or maybe euu will remember me for the pain...
this year is so dame terrible for me...
failing subjects...
losing my friends...
i just wanna say...
i really had fun with euu guys...
birthday last year...the cake smashing and the singing of birthday song so loudly
gly birthday...i know its not mine...but had fun with her...
last year's national day with gly...
gly for comforting me when i am down...with all the foolish thoughts in my head...
mil for comforting me when i got panic attacks...
having fun during recess when we decided to sort of ps ct everytime...
in the lib when mil was placing the books everywhere to make gly have a hard job...
everything...
now i seem to lost all of them...at once...
this year's birthday...i dun think anyone's gonna be beside me...
no one to comfort me when i am down...
no national day outing...
nothing...
i just hope to focus on NDP...last year le...
focus on my studies...although its difficult...
i guess its all back to the starting line...
with nothing in my mind...
i guess its over...
getting euur forgiveness is nv gonna happen...
it can't happen in reality...
euu might see that i am happy...
but in my heart...i am not...
♥大東
AH...help...itch itch itch
all over my body...
i have been scratching for lky 4 days...until ytd too itchy...and swelling lky pig...
so decided to see doc...
end up rashes...
sian...i have been scratching and scratching...
and my mom keep scolding me...
as me stop scratching...
but i keep scratching...haha...itchy sia
yarhh one more thing to add...
rmb e camp...sec 3 camp...when it was going to rain...
i told euu i was scared...because of e rain...
did euu even care?
at least when gly come back she ask me whether i was okay...
when i ask euu go see instructor with me...euu dun care me...still do play the cup game with yan ru..
and no choice i had to look for chermain...although me and chermain not that close...but she still accompany me...she comfort me...she told me it was going to be over...
and pls dun say i even scared of rain during the talk in e phone...scared of rain is under panic attack...so dun say i even scared of rain than what i not scared of...btw...i left an info on panic attack and i hope euu read it and understand more...i also hope that other ppl looking or reading this blog can also read about it...
Labels: e-learning's over
♥大東
FINALLY...
oral...its over...
haha...nice...i think i have done better...and thats the best that i can give...haha...
it rocks lky totally...
i really thank the girls and chin for listening to me...i think we really had great time together...
the thing that we help teacher to do...tgt...i think we had fun although it was ugly...
thanks for listening to me when i was down...
thanks for telling me what was right...
thanks for making me have a wonderful and stressless time before the oral...
thanks for cheering me up so that i can focus on my oral...
I REALLY WANNA THANK THE HMT STUDENTS MAKING THIS DAY SO FUN...
i really had a great time hanging with euu ppl...haha...
oh yarhh i found out that pearlyn change alot...
i totally love her the way she is now...
she changed alot...really...and for the better side...
haha...i totally had fun just now...doing the cranes and everything with euu...
although this year those who wish me luck was just a few...but thanks all the girls in the same room as me...crys,eunice,lishan,zara,vanessa,jess,jing xian...and the others...really was so heart warming...haha...so funny when the gay tcher scold haha...so funny...so awkward to talk when he is lky in front of us taking the time...haha...laugh...
btw...
just wanna say something to euu..hope euu think about everything that i say...
i dun admit that i have grown much but i just wanna say that last friday during combine discussion with 2 sec 2 scouts and wee kiong...i was the first to start introducing...i was the one who lead the discussions...ytd during HMT,we help tcher to do the thing...we had great fun...i also talk to those whom i have nv talk to lky for a month...i am much open in class now...and as for friends,i talk to glynnis library friends...like yu fan,yu chuan,nadra,cindy they all...i also know my bros friends...i also know the scouts...HMT friends...and not leaving out 3/5 and 2/7 ppl...see...i can do all that stuffs...not to show euu that i can do it...but i have agreed to try and mix around like what euu say...i just want euu to know a few things...
1. i nv ever said i wanted to ps euu
2. i think that now i can say euu hurt me more...once is about this incident...the other is ps-ing me during FnN...ps-ing me during last sat...and what euu did in the phone...
3. the purpose of me calling glynnis and talking to her about it is that i dun wan euu to know...if i wanted euu to know i would have called euu...but euu did DIRTY things lky listening thru a conference between me and her...thats what i am hurt about to...
4. lky what euu say...euu wan ppl to be with euu the way euu are...but why can't euu accept me as who i am...and my bro...imagine if what happen between euu and my bro happen to me and euur bro...and i did the same thing to him...and the story he told euu...how would euu feel...
5. euu said that everything euu want to clear ytd during recess...but euu said nothing...and even ps me before hand...pls if euu really dun wan to talk about it and forget about me...than why dun euu tell me before...
6. euu said that euu would reconsider...but i ask euu truly...have euu?
7. i only merely give suggestions...not orders
8. everybody have diff views and character...not everyone is lky euu...not scared of ghost...being striaghtforward...euu want to change everyone so that they become lky euu...not everyone have the same personality as euu in the world...
9. euu only think of euur feelings...nv think of others...euu just care about euurself...other ppl have feelings too...
lky what i told crys...i dun wan to continue anymore...i can't sleep just thinking about it...i can't focus...i think we should end it once and for all...lky what gly say...we are ppl with 2 diff character...euu are proactive and straight while i am those kind who is sort of anti-social,can i say shy?we are like the north and south pole...we nv meet...i have tried my best to stay by euu...lky tolerating euur straight forwardness and everything...but why can't euu?why can't euu tolerate me...i did all my best to change...have euu?euu said...anything not happy about euu tell euu...i told euu...but did euu listen?i have listen to euu...euu kep on say i dun understand why euu ppl hate me...yarhh i dun understand...why dun euu tell me?euu nv tell me how and i possibly gonna change right?
i only wan euu to know this...no need for reply...just answer in euur heart...writing all this is not to make euu pity me...i just wan euu to know that...for gly and ct...i hope euu can tell me what to do...what i am wrong in...and most importantly euur TRUE feelings...can sent me an email or even a msg in friendster...or here...it alright with me...call me also can...i really wanna know euur true feelings...
lky what the others have said to me...don't think too much...dun bother about it...just dun care...i will listen to euu all larhh...try my best not to think too much...to crys...i will be fine...the sms-s...was just for me to vent anger although those are my real and true feelings...but i thank euu for lending me a listening ear...thanks gly for listening to me...and thanks ct for the msg...i am trying to improve relationship with my school mates le...i will try to mix more...thats alll...
to HMT friends...
well its over...hope euu ppl happy with what euu have done...i think that we all have done the best...and its over...those not happy...nvm it over...next year we got 2 more orals to go...must jiayou...haha...i feel lky celebrating now...haha...nvm maybe ask my mom treat me to something...haha...as for the celebrations...i think can wait till the results is out than can celebrate with chen lao shi...haha...LOVE EUU PEPS...haha thanks chin for being beside me today...lending me euur ear...and after oral the waiting time...it was lky so fun larhh...lucky euu were there...if not boring lky hell lorhh...haha...thats all...
♥大東
to mildred,gly and CT:
i admit i din not dare to speak the truth out in front of euu...
but i did let out my feelings to crystal...
but i think that its my fault that i had that kinda feelings and after a while i was gonna be gone...
so i dun feel like talking about it too...
thats why but after that i found out that euu was angry with me...
thats why i didn't call euu last friday...
and i went to my blog before that to clear up everything...
and i really can't speak up...thats true...
thats why i prefer to do it in front of the computer...
i admit that i should have called euu to my hse...
but i have to confirm that if gly and ct really hate me for what i am doing and they dun wanna come than whats the point when euu hate me even more...
euu sure wun come unless they come right...
i only have three of euu as my closer friends...
frankly speaking...
i dun wanna lost euu all too...
but i really hope that euu can be less straightforward...
cause the more euu ask the more i dun dare to answer euu...
thats my character...if euu really know me more...
now euu should be thinking why i told crys everything...
she didn't sort of forced me to say...or keep asking me...i told her on my own...
she gives me time and space...
but euu just keep asking and asking me...
if euu would have ask me just once maybe in a few mins time i would have told euu...
i dun deny that gly and ct hate me...
i wasn't that close to ct...
so i dun really know what she is thinking and she is always following you...
so i dun really count that as a ps...
for glynnis i have already notice that she have totally lose interest in staying with me...
i can sence that she is getting tired to be with me...
euu see i can sence that...thats why i didn't wan to irritate you further...
seriously speaking,i didn't read the post that euu wrote before...
until last saturday...
i would be in-human and lying if i said i wasn't sad...
i was angry too...but i didn't really confront euu in person...
or gly and ct...
i know euu wan people to accept euur straightforwardness...
but hey euu remember the malysia trip when euu wanted to buy presents for them and suddenly after euu read an sms than euu stomp off...i asked euu why but euu didn't wan to say...i didn't probe further right...
put euurself in my shoes...
if that day i was to keep asking and asking euu...
euu will be pissed right...
not mentioning the one euu are angry with is the one asking euu the question...
in that circumstances would euu answer?
maybe euu would because of euur character or maybe not because euu can say that it is non of my business...but that not my type of character...
but i hope euu can think of my feelings that day...
i told crys because i know that she wouldn't confront euu...so she is like a listening ear to me...she just listen to it and maybe forget about it...thats why i choose to talk to her...
i can't talk to gly...she is in it too...
ct is so close to the two of euu...i dun wan her to sandwich in between...but she confirm will tell wan...
i have nth more to say...but i really hope sometimes euu can really think of other...
i nv denied i cried...
before this i wasn't really having good relationship with my family members...
i believe that euu can ct have know...
gly would sure tell euu that it was so serious that i almost wanna run away from home...but i really hope that when this kinda things happen,euu will still be beside me...i dun blame euu for telling them if euu did...i know euu hate me but i can change...but pls give me time...and be less straight forward...
its very easy to see through gly sometimes...i know when she is talking about me...and even lky fri night i sense that something was wrong...thats why i told crys...euu can ask her what i sent to her...i told her i was suspicious...not trying to show that i am clever or what...although when crys sms me the answer that euu told me,i did think that it was true...until when euu ask me where i was going and on that day when i ask where euu was euu didn't tell me...maybe mildred ask euu to...but i dun blame all of euu larhh...if we were to bum into each other...i dunno how to react...but i dun blame euu...frankly speaking i also do that...but i say things that is in an acceptable range...and the sms i sent euu ytd...its true...
i really hope that euu can be beside me...
♥大東
last time euu will always tell me that if i really happy with euu i should tell you...
and i have agreed...
i know i didn't really tell euu in person but at least in my blog i clearly stated everything...even stated euur names...we have been tgt for lky at 1 year...i can't believe that until now euu still dun understand me.i dun dare to speak up...thats why a blog is my first place to sort of sort up my questions and feelings...but i really can't believe that euu didn't tell me that euu wasn't happy and that all the things euu do that really hurt me lots...
i know i am in the wrong...don't euu think that if that day euu were to ask me and i said i was jealous,euu sure will say why and everybody will be very gan ga...
thats why i choose to say in my blog...i didn't did any dirty things behind euur back and even tell euur secrets...if i really did tell me...if not really pls don't say all that...i am really sad
when friday euu all actually say that 9 euu all want to conference and i sms gly...she say she call ct than next sms was she say she going with her parents,cui tian can't make it and euu didn't want to watch.i became suspicious...so i decided to ask crys to test gly...although she didn't leak it out but i was still suspicious...until i read euur blog and confirm everything...when cuitian say hancock was nice,i even confirm when i read euur blog...ytd euu was scolding me for just very little things...i was really sad...euu no happy with me euu shouldn't scold me bro too...i was really disappointed...when euu scold me,i really felt lky crying...and all the words that euu wrote in euur blog...i didn't know that euu really hate me so much...i dun really hate gly and ct for ps me and going out with euu...its normal...everyone would lky to go out with a popular kid than one that euu hate...i really dun blame you too except for the fact that euu all lied to me...i know euu all didn't want me to know...althought on when i knew about it i really hate euu...since euu think that i am not worth your tears and all euur friends say that i am not worth it...i really can't disappear in front of euu...the most i can do is be on my own and not bother all of euu... but i really hope that at least euu shouldn't ask gly to lie to me and even ps me...frankly speaking she is my only friend and euu even had to pull all of them to ps me...i am really very sorry to make euu sad but i am disappointed...sorry...
mildred i hope we can be friends again...or the most at least if gly agrees let her be with me...i know that she also hates me...for ct i dun really think that she hates me that much...but i really hope we can be tgt...if not nvm i really dun blame all of euu
♥大東
